In the second half of our interview with Milagros, we chat with her about what she remembers from Buenos Aires, her trip to visit her parents in Brazil, and her plans after she graduates. We also talk about imposter syndrome, of feeling we are part of a culture, but not at the same time.
Alessandra: You were born in Buenos Aires, until four years old?
Mili: Yes.
Alessandra: Do you remember much of that time or how it was there?
Evelyn: Do you remember much of Buenos Aires? Do you remember something from Buenos Aires?
Mili: I remember a bit of such big things. I remember-- but yes, I remember, I-- I went to pre-school there a little bit. I went to-- I don't know how many months, but I remember some things I learned there, like there I started to learn English and I learned "Five little monkeys jumping on the bed." Yes, I have that memory of the first thing I learned in English. Also things like that, whatever, you know, how was my room or making mini stories, but all my family lives in Argentina, or most of my family lives in Argentina. So we always went back every two years to visit my grandparents, my cousins, my uncles, my aunts, and there you know, I made new memories of Argentina and I know a little-- I know the city a little more and the outskirts of the city.
Evelyn: Buenos Aires is beautiful, I was there. It is, as they say, it is like a mix of Paris, Milan,, and Madrid.
Mili: Yes, the city is very beautiful, I really like it.
Evelyn: Nice, Buenos Aires, yes.
Alessandra: I want to go with you one day, Mili.
Mili: Yes, let’s go, Ale! I want to too, I love to go. We go to Argentina and maybe we do a pitstop in Colombia?
Alessandra: Maybe, yes!
Evelyn: Colombia is-- would you like it, Mili. You would like Colombia very much, I think.
Mili: I went--
Evelyn: You’ve been?
Mili: Yes, my last year of high school, I went with my parents to Bogotá and Cartagena.
Evelyn: Oh my goodness.
Mili: It was beautiful.
Alessandra: Hi Opa.
Frank: Hi, hello, hi there.
Evelyn: My husband, Mili, is from Amsterdam, he was born in Amsterdam.
Mili: Yes? Ah, yes.
Evelyn: Yes, he speaks Dutch and--
Mili: But. I don't know why she was so cute there.
Alessandra: Your parents are living in Brazil and did you visit them?
Mili: Yes, I went to visit them a month ago. They are living in Campinas, which is about an hour from São Paulo. And it's been, I think, a year they’ve been living in Brazil, but they love it. The truth is, my mother told me that if it weren't for us that we all live in the United States, they would go to live in Brazil permanently. Because they love the culture, it's a little more organized, let's say, than Argentina, a little more-- I don't know.
Evelyn: Stable, more stable?
Mili: A little bit more stable than Argentina, yes. And they love the weather, the people. They are a bit sad because, you see, they have no friends because they moved in February of last year, and in March with all the COVID they have not been able, you know, to meet people.
Evelyn: Yes.
Mili: But, they love it.
Alessandra: Did you ever want to live in Argentina, why or why not? Or would you like to stay in Minnesota after graduation?
Mili: I have really thought about it a lot and there are times I would love to live in Argentina again. There I could practice my Spanish a little more, I could get to know the city a little more, the cities, the country. And everything, less for me and more for my future, when I have children, to be able to tell them and share that with them, and it would be nice to be close to my cousins and my uncles and aunts, but there are many things about Argentina that also I find hard. I am used to living in the United States. I'm used to how things work here, the order and culture here as well, I'm more used to how everything is here and I think it would cost me a bit to go back to Argentina and have to--
Evelyn: Adapt.
Mili: Yes, adapt to that. And I think it would be hard for me to realize that I have to adapt to a culture that I also think is mine because I also feel Argentine, but there are many things that I don't-- that I am more American than Argentine, and other things that I am more Argentine than American, and it's always hard for me, you know, to find the--
Alessandra: The balance?
Mili: I don’t know.
Veronica: The balance?
Mili: Yes. The balance between that. That is why I did not study in Buenos Aires for my study abroad. That is why I chose Seville. Because I realized that if I went to Buenos Aires, although I was also going to practice my Spanish and I was also going to be able to travel and see, it was going to be hard for me mentally and emotionally to feel like I was part of this place, but not. But I think one day it would be nice to be able to do it, to be able to go and have that experience. And I also love the country. It's so beautiful, I love the food, I love the way people talk, well, minus all the bad words, but. Yes, no, I love it, but I don't know. I've looked for companies to see if there are programs where I could go or work there for two years, but honestly, after I went to Holland, now my new-- my new goal is to go to Holland for a couple of years, and Buenos Aires stays a little-- I don't know.
Alessandra: Because you can always go visit your family in Buenos Aires.
Mili: Yes.
Alessandra: Maybe for a little while you can live there.
Mili: Yes, the truth is that you do not know what will happen in the world, you do not know how everything will work. Maybe in a moment between work I'm going to go there for a while, maybe I'm working in a place that has an office in Argentina and I can go. You never know, right?
Evelyn:Yes, you know, as we say in English, “You have the best of all worlds,” yes. Which is a wonderful thing, to be able to have a family there, a family here, to be able to have all those options in your life. It's a-- you're very lucky.
Mili: Yes. Yes, I really love it--
Evelyn: And we think about it, many-- half the world does not have that kind of luck, of those opportunities. Your family is super international, imagine, where your whole family lives, where to go, and it's wonderful. It’s a--
Mili: Yes.
Evelyn: You have the world at your feet, like who says, right?
Mili: Yes, I love being international, I love not just being from here. I have like, issues, you know, personal problems, sometimes I would say, “I would love to be just an American, I would love nothing more than to be from one place.” But in my mind it has so many good things and it has made me the person that I am and for that, as I say, I would love for my children to have that same experience. I would love for them to feel connected with Argentina and with Spanish and with all that. Once with Alessandra and Deanna in Spain, we had a conversation in-- about, like our future. And I got really stressed out because I didn't know if I was going to-- I speak Spanish and I communicate well and I can read and send text messages too, but I don't feel like I know-- that I know how to talk too and I never went to-- like school. there, I don't know. I don't have the perfect grammar to teach a baby how to speak Spanish, especially when they are always speaking in English. So every so often I have a little anxiety to know how I am going to spend this big part of my life, of my culture, from who I am to how, the next generation.
Evelyn: Yes you can do it! Of course you can do it, because you agree with your partner, your husband, and the best thing for your children is to share that experience, because you educate them just as you were educated, or how you were raised, right? Internationally, and well, you can do that. Alessandra has Colombia, just as you have Argentina, she has Colombia. And--
Alessandra: But--
Evelyn: It's the same thing, with all the cousins she has in Colombia there. She can go whenever she wants, and right?
Alessandra: I understand what you're saying, I don't remember the word but it's something "syndrome." No, no--
Mili: Imposter?
Alessandra: Imposter syndrome! How do you say?
Evelyn: Imposter?
Alessandra: Yes. That you feel that you are not part of the culture where your parents were born, but you were born in Buenos Aires, well, but something like that, I understand.
Mili: Yes.
Evelyn: That it’s the syndrome of being participating in the other culture without being, without having lived that culture, is what you say? I don't understand that imposter syndrome.
Alessandra: I'm not-- obviously I'm not from Colombia, but I love the culture and a lot of my family is there, but I feel like a fraud.
Evelyn: No, why? I don't know who invented that, no! Because you can be of two places. Part of you, you are American, but part of you, part of you is from Colombia, from your mother, from your grandmother, from, from, because, because, because yes! That's not being an impostor, it's being a part also, right?
Alessandra: Yes, but it happens to a lot of people--
Veronica: It happens.
Alessandra: It happens. Now we're going to do the part about, "What do you prefer?" A game that doesn't--
Mili: Okay.
Alessandra: I didn't send it to you in the email, but it's more fun that way. Okay.
Mili: Okay.
Alessandra: What do you prefer: never dance again or never be able to travel again? Because you are a dancer.
Mili: Yes, I should-- even though it hurts my soul, I would say I couldn't dance. Because if I cannot travel, I cannot visit my family, so, I would say, yes, I would stop dancing in the streets so that I could visit all my family everywhere and see new places. The truth is I love traveling and seeing new cultures, tasting food, nature.
Alessandra: Yes, I would say the same, obviously. I'm not a dancer, but, well. What do you prefer: dropping the keys in the toilet, like me, and having to remove them--
Evelyn: Oh!
Alessandra: Or dip your foot down the toilet in a Truth or Dare game, like Deanna?
Mili: Definitely putting my toes in the toilet than putting my hand in the toilet of a discotec like you did.
Evelyn: When did you do that Alessandra? When did that happen to you? Oh, what a horror!
Alessandra: Good question.
Mili: Yes, very funny.
Evelyn: Ah, mother!
Mili: Very funny.
Evelyn: Oh my god.
Alessandra: Well, that's it. Thank you very much for being here Mili. It has been a pleasure. Do you have something to say goodbye to us, or to say to all of our listeners?
Mili: No, just thank you very much for having me on your podcast and inviting me to participate. I love hearing it, and well, I don't know if I'm going to listen to this one because I don't like hearing my own voice, but--
Evelyn: Nobody likes to hear their own voice.
Mili: Yes. I don't know how Alessandra edits it because to edit you have to listen, but.
Alessandra: It’s horrible.
Mili: I am very impressed, I am very impressed, truly, all the things that you are doing during this quarantine, with the pandemic. I see you a lot, like, growing and trying new things, like your videos and the podcast and now maybe Miami? I don't know, I'm impressed-- and also having a real job, like big girl pants. I am very impressed and you should be very proud.
Alessandra: Aw thanks. I also of you. I hope we can see each other again?
Mili: Yes.
Veronica: Yes.
Alessandra: Soon, yes. In Miami.
Mili: Obviously, when I can, I'm going to visit you. I've never been, so I would love to. And very-- very nice to meet you Evelyn, and see you again.
Evelyn: Mili, I wish you the best of luck in your career. You seem to be studying something phenomenal, phenomenal. Engineering what? Biomedical?
Mili: Biomedical. Biomedical engineering.
Evelyn: Engineering, wow!
Veronica: How good.
Veronica: Fantastic! There is a lot of possibility in that field today, my God, right?
Mili: I hope so.
Evelyn: That's more, that has to do with-- sorry, give me a little summary of what that is about.
Mili: It's pretty broad engineering practically--
Evelyn: Is it equipment? Okay.
Mili: Broad, but it is-- I would use it to make like, prosthetics, like prosthetics, or like pacemakers or things for diabetes or anything that touches your body, which is part of health, it could help do that.
Evelyn: Wow, they are devices, rather. Like the creation of devices, or medicine? Or rather, for example, electronic gadgets, or?
Mili: It could be, it could be electronic gadgets, it could be mechanical gadgets, it could be-- it's a bit encompassing of all the different engineering, but with the human body in mind. So I learned all the engineering a little and I have also studied a lot of the human body and physics, and that.
Evelyn: Sure, very interesting. Good luck!
Mili: Thank you!
Evelyn: Good luck, you'll see. You will have much luck.
Veronica: Yes, you will do very well.
Evelyn: Yes.
Mili: Thank you.
Alessandra: Thanks for listening, and see you next time! Thanks Mili!
Veronica: Thanks, Mili.
Mili: Thank you.
Evelyn: Delighted, Mili. Take care of yourself!
Mili: Bye, bye!
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